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WHY I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE FAILURE

There are only so many podcasts a person can watch. Religious people will say that you just need to read the Bible and pray more. Meditation teachers will say that you just need to meditate more. Gym people will say that you just need to lift weights more. There are only so many things a person can do to distract themselves. Inevitably, the pain always finds it's way back.  I am a total failure. A complete and utter failure. I went back to school and got a Master's degree to close a gap on my resume, and got myself back in to my career field. Then the pandemic came along and put another gigantic gap right back on my resume. I failed to close that gap in enough time to save my relationship. I could have gone to work part time at McDonald's or Disneyland, instead I spent 3-4 years building a YouTube channel under the assumption that the channel would pay out significantly more over time. But it never happened. My ex-girlfriend tried to talk to me about her Grandma's house...

'WHEN I GET FREE II" by TUPAC | RAP & HIP-HOP | LOS ANGELES

 
Ay Trusty Trusty
(What you want man?)
Aw nigga let me get one of them cigarettes
(Here! Shit!)
Come on bastard, get the phone for a nigga
(Use the phone)
Aw nigga get the phone for me man
(What's the number?)
323-65-45, tell her it's 'Pac

When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me
When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me

I heard a snicker a laugh, I take a look at the evening news
And see a nigga gettin' cuffed by the boys in blue
Is it a, frame up, tryin' to keep me out the game, stuck
These motherfuckers tryin' to dirty up my name, but
I slip as quick as the wind, it's me or them, fuck friends
My foes be on a mission, tryin' to do me in
Fuck 'em I'm out to get out, they all thought
I blow up like a gauge, and in a rage, blow they balls off
Why are you niggas tryin' to test me trick?
And be the first ones to snitch to arrest me bitch
My Main thang with a nigga meal ticket only if you with the real
The nigga will kick it, I'll enforce it with the steel
Use the lessons that I learned in jail
Rule one: fuck a busta he can burn in Hell
Now I'm workin' with connects that I got in the pen
In no time I'll be clockin' again

When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me
When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me

Hey, still sittin' in my cell as I dwell on my past
Tryin' to figure how a nigga turned dreams into cash
Quick, call her collect, ain't no respect on the other side
My cellmate's suicidal cause his mother died
And my C.O. is a lady, and I'm thinkin' maybe
Me and her can hook up a scheme, to be Swayze
Cause she keep on callin' me baby, to a young
Motherfucker facin' eighty that's enough to make you crazy
Now how long will it take, to get a hook
Got her watchin' me liftin' weights, sneakin' looks
I devised a plan, I'm in the trunk while she drives the van
Ain't no disguise I'ma die as a man
If we make it then I'm takin' it to Hell
All them niggas that was frontin' while I sat up in a cell
Locked in jail, I couldn't touch her so I planned, in misery
The nigga you don't wanna see

When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me
When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me
When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me
When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me
When I get free, motherfuckers better watch they ass
Soon as I get released, I'ma clock some cash
Did some time locked down, but I'm back on the street
There'll be trouble when they see me

(When I get free!), believe that shit
Yeah nigga fuck your cigarette, fuck that phone (When I get free!) call motherfucker
I'll be out this motherfucker in a few days
I'll pay these bitches back in spades (When I get free!)
Punk ass bastards, long as my AK flexes
We gonna play these bitches (When I get free!)
That's how we do this shit
Fuck that I'm out, C.O. turn the fuckin' lights out!