June 04, 2020

"Your Girlfriend Sucks" | The Ataris & The Door Test

"If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button for you so you could get in, dump her."

The Door Test comes from a scene in the 1993 film called The Bronx Tale. Ataris fans might recognize this movie clip as used in the song "Your Boyfriend Sucks." But maybe it isn't the boyfriend who sucks, what if it's the girlfriend?




The idea is that when you pick up your date and let her into the car, take special care to notice if she reaches over and unlocks your side of the door for you as you walk around the car to get in. "If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button for you so you could get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."

Reciprocity must come from both sides. Otherwise, what are you doing to yourself? Now The Bronx Tale is almost 30 years old, so it's possible that this situation won't play out exactly like this in an era of Ride Sharing and Social Media, but the message remains the same. Don't invest your time and energy on someone who only thinks about herself.

If you are the only one initiating conversation (especially through text), stop. Find someone who will reciprocate. You will be much happier.

Maybe someone should cover this song and swap the genders; "Your Girlfriend Sucks."