I am not a Christian and I don't intend to ever become one. There are a lot of things I agree with in Christianity but there are also a lot of beliefs that I can not align myself with either. However, I will admit that I'm much less of an Atheist than I was when I was younger. I do see a value in having a supportive community and framework that churches, temples, or other religious communities can provide.
Believe whatever you want to believe, just don't force those beliefs on others, and don't assume that someone who walks a different path is "lost." Their path is not ours to decide, nor is it ever truly possible for us to know a damn thing about another person's experiences in life that have made them who they are today.
Lyrics:
I need a short drink or a long prayer.
I've been sober but I don't care.
I'm so scared of my own self.
I get no help and that's no fair.
So don't go there, I've been Hell and back
I've got scorched hair in this Gucci cap.
I got empty bottles and a million follows.
I regret swallowing the Ativan.
Fuck it, let's be real.
I resent the way that I feel.
I pretend that it's cool, but I miss getting drunk
And I'm angry that God doesn't help when I kneel.
Fuck it, I said my prayers.
When I got clean, shit just got worse.
I quit doing drugs and I pleaded with Jesus to save me
But he didn't hear my words.
This shit don't work, it hurts.
I went to church, now I need liquid courage.
Whiskey in my glass, I take the knives out of my back to stir it.
Go to Hell and back again then show you burns to prove I earned it.
I need shots or God to gain the strength I need, I'm just a person.
I pray on my way
To the liquor store that they lock the doors,
'Cause I'll lay in my grave
If the whiskey pours like it did before.
I'm scared. I send out a prayer.
Can anybody hear me? Is anybody there?
'Cause honestly it hurts and every day is worse.
I keep buying whiskey when all I need is church.
I keep talking to God but he don't hear me.
And my demons are there, always listening.
I get lost in the dark drowning in whiskey.
And I went in so far you say you miss me.
I'm on a ship in a bottle, so say goodbye at the shore.
Break the glass and you'll find me, I'm not who I was before.
Close my eyes in the darkness and hold on through the storm.
I'm a wreck in a bottle, I wasn't built for a war.
These church pews,
Bright lights, whiskey glasses, bottles of booze
Make short days turn long nights
The bottle, the Bible, I didn't know what to choose.
I pray on my way
To the liquor store that they lock the door.
'Cause I'll lay in my grave
If the whiskey pours like it did before.
I'm scared. I send out a prayer.
Can anybody hear me? Is anybody there?
'Cause honestly it hurts and every day is worse.
I keep buying whiskey when all I need is church.
I can't read but the Bible's still with me.
My eyes can't see from the bottles of whiskey.
I don't believe anybody will miss me.
And I'm on my knees. Tell me, God, are you listening?
I pray on my way
To the liquor store that they lock the door
'Cause I'll lay in my grave
If the whiskey pours like it did before.
I'm scared. I send out a prayer.
Can anybody hear me? Is anybody there?
'Cause honestly it hurts and every day is worse.
I keep buying whiskey when all I need is church.
