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WHY TODAY'S KIDS ARE COOKED | THEY CAN'T READ AND ITS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, KAREN

I dated a woman who put her son in front of a tablet or Xbox while she ran out to the club all night. She couldn't even wait until it was their dad's weekend to have them. She would just straight up sit her son in front of a tablet, run off to the Los Angeles nightclubs until 4AM, and then consider herself a primary candidate for "Mother of the Year." Her son was in middle-school and still couldn't even fucking read. The poor kid was neglected.  Both of her children from her past relationship were in special needs classes because they were not stimulated or educated at home. What the fuck did you think was going to happen when you put a device aimed at adults (a computer) in front a child with unrestricted and unregulated access. You only have yourself to blame for your own piss-poor parenting skills, or lack-thereof. Child neglect. Google it. Meanwhile, I was reading Michael Crichton books when I was in jr high. My sister taught me how to read before I even start...
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Christmas Movie Review: Gremlins (1984)

"Turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds..." and check out our review of Gremlins. You might be thinking that Gremlins would be more appropriate as an entry in our Halloween movie fest as a horror movie, which it is. However, in addition to being a horror movie and a comedy movie, Gremlins is totally a Christmas movie.




The movie begins with a struggling inventor who purchases a cute, cuddly and highly unique pet called a Mogwai as an early Christmas gift for his young-adult son, Billy. Billy is given the Mogwai and told that there are three very important rules to care for this pet. Obviously Billy ends up breaking each of the three rules, but we will get to that in a moment. First let's meet the Mogwai.



Aw, how cute! Well don't get too attached because as we mentioned earlier, these little critters require an important set of rules for proper care. As Billy quickly discovers, bright light can hurt or kill them, getting them wet causes them to multiply and feeding them after midnight causes them to turn into little green reptilian monsters called Kardashians, uh... I mean gremlins.

I saw this movie as a little kid and remember having mixed feelings about it because it was possibly my first experience with a horror-comedy. So I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be scared or not because the gremlins are both terrifying and hilarious. While they do cause a few deaths, they mostly delight in running rampant across town destroying things like a pack of feral children. Some of the funnier scenes of the movie occur when the gremlins are goofing around.



She had it coming.

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