WHY I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE FAILURE
There are only so many podcasts a person can watch. Religious people will say that you just need to read the Bible and pray more. Meditation teachers will say that you just need to meditate more. Gym people will say that you just need to lift weights more. There are only so many things a person can do to distract themselves. Inevitably, the pain always finds it's way back. I am a total failure. A complete and utter failure. I went back to school and got a Master's degree to close a gap on my resume, and got myself back in to my career field. Then the pandemic came along and put another gigantic gap right back on my resume. I failed to close that gap in enough time to save my relationship. I could have gone to work part time at McDonald's or Disneyland, instead I spent 3-4 years building a YouTube channel under the assumption that the channel would pay out significantly more over time. But it never happened. My ex-girlfriend tried to talk to me about her Grandma's house...