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WHY YOU'RE A RETARD IF YOU DYE YOUR HAIR ABNORMAL COLORS IN 2026

"Why do they always look like this?" - Asmongold We used to dye our hair as Warped Tour era teens, in order to stand out. To individualize ourselves. They co-opted hair-dye in order to signal adherence to the cult of Marxism. We are absolutely not the same. Highlighted Comments: " “I’m childless” Thank you for your service." " It's like someone gassed the whole city with the joker toxin.." " "I have nothing to lose so let me destroy the future for everyone else's children."" " “We are going to fight back” says a person who has panic attacks answering their front door." " I feel like nose rings are the new straight jackets." " Remember yall: Things in nature that are Toxic or Poisonous will adopt Bright Colors" " "I don't have anything to lose", and yet most of them are overweight." " Parents: "Son why arent you married and have kids yet?" The Women to pick fro...

"Hang Myself From The Tree" by The Vandals

I always thought that Christmas songs were supposed to be uplifting and joyful. Thanks to The Vandals I know differently. Oi To The World was one of the first Christmas albums that I ever purchased with my own allowance money as a young punk. The Vandals are all about humor in their music, so I wasn't surprised by songs like "My First Christmas as a Woman" or "Christmas Time for My Penis."  However, "Hang Myself From The Tree" caught me a bit off guard. 

A depressing Christmas song? Wow. I'm not saying that this is the only one that exist at the time. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't, but it was definitely the first one that had an impact on me. One drab song among a collection of tongue-in-cheek music is not going to make anyone mistake The Vandals for an emo band. However, "Hang Myself From The Tree" is an eye opening song that reminds the listener that Christmas isn't always such a great time of year for everyone. 

"The season of suicide / I know why they died" sings Vandals' guitarist Warren Fitzgerald. "Christmas reminds me that I have nothing." Those that have families and friends to spend time with during the holidays should feel fortunate as not everyone is lucky enough to have the same supportive community. Not everyone has exciting holiday plans and togetherness to look forward to. "I won't write a note / because it would be addressed to no one." For those that live much of their lives alone, Christmas time can be a cold reminder of one's lack of friendship and camaraderie. Add a global pandemic on top of the mix and such feelings of loneliness may be amplified.

In an unprecedented time when many of us are stressed out and lonely it can be beneficial to take a moment to step back and remind ourselves of how fortunate we really are...

Don't forget to check-in on your friends and family during these holidays. Make that phone call. Send that message. You never know who needs it. Even if it's just to say "Merry Christmas, Asshole. Now fuck off again!"

...and then please try to cheer back up! The song has a tuba in it FFS! At least the studio version does anyway. 😄

Check out "Santa's Sweaty Sack : Christmas Punk Rock Playlist" on Spotify: link

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